Kele – Tenderoni Review

My head was still pumping with Kele’s Tenderoni, a rhythm more numbing than 50% oxygen, 50% nitrous oxide. NHS doesn’t brand it as Nox, basically, paramedics hand out free laughing gas. Hilarious.

You are allowed to experiment with this. This stuff is as addictive as cigarettes and alcohol! Kele has invented something that you can feel has strains of the Bloc Party chemical, but the effects are more stimulating. The bass line takes your head for free trip that doesn’t hurt, although you won’t be soothed. This is not trance. You can’t just let it massage your temples and slip into some simple head nodding, you’ll only sit uncomfortably, shifting with a dub beat. The synth laces a warming artificial tone that fills you from your gut and compels you to throw your arms up. This is certainly no cheap thrill or easy high. This won’t be a song that, when it finally gets edited for Radio 1, your Dad will be listening to it trying to be like you.

Bloc Party was relatively young. Releasing their first album in 2003, they only had three albums. It seems like the final nail in a Bloc shaped coffin as Kele releases his first solo album The Boxer on the 21st of June. Perhaps the rest of the band saw it coming. Apparently, Kele kept his habits hidden from his parents whilst he was studying English Literature at Uni. It was only until after the world heard their Silent Alarm that Kele confessed his musical dealings. By this point, smoke would have been thick and his mind buzzing in that Bloc Party delirium. It had a value that was so easy to take in again. The album soared through UK charts granting them fame and fortune. The rest isn’t history, it’s only a few years ago.

So why the spilt? My guess is that they weren’t aware of his new pastime. In a secret lyrical laboratory, Kele Okereke has created a strand of dance music. Its tailored to the club scene, something ‘bassy’, motivating, and infectious. I can personally add that as I was pumping my ears with Tenderoni, I overdosed. Side effects include; thinking you’re ‘ard, strutting, dancing like a DJ, and jumping around. I tried to jump down some steps, spurred by the effects of Kele, and I actually broke my ankle when I landed. The drugs the paramedics gave me were merely sobering aids, I was still high. I was still murmuring the song as I left the hospital in the evening.

Sorry girls, although he has an amazing body, apparently he recently came out as gay in March! Although sources are not certain.

If you watch the video more than a few times you’re going to need rehab.

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